Boys to Men

Dad gave me the best advice about boys and dating. One day, I think I was about 16, I was heartbroken after a HUGE fight with the current love of my life. I thought for sure we would stay broken up and my life would be ruined. I was a little high-strung when I was a teenager. Hard to believe, right.

I was probably crying when Dad yelled, "Jesus Christ (he prayed a lot) Blondie! In 20 years you won't even remember his name!" He then went on to say, "Boys are like trolleys, stand still for 5 minutes and another will be right along." He most likely added, "Enough with all the damn crying." Ah Dad, always bringing the warm and fuzzy. It had also been several years since Dad had waited for a trolley since 5 minutes, yeah, not so much.

Little did he realize I would take that advice to heart. Not the stop crying part, the trolley part. Literally. Over the next several years I enjoyed dating and meeting new guys. Breaking hearts and having fun.

When I was 19, I met my husband. Not Pat; that's still a few years off. No, I'm talking about my practice husband, Dana. We dated for a long time but were only married briefly. He was older than me by about 5 years. And smart. One of the smartest people I've ever met. Also, kind of a jerk.  But he's not the point of this blog, I am.

I met Pat the year we lost Dad. On Halloween. We had a fight. We fought just about every time we saw each other. I was still married, although we had already separated. Pat and I slowly became friends. And along with Ed and Greg, we proceeded to get in loads of trouble and have a hell of a good time! Pat asked me out several times. I always resisted. I think I knew that it could get serious. Pat and his stubborness finally wore me down. The rest is history.

I don't classify realtionships in my life as mistakes, especially intimate, romantic relationships. Each important partner in my life left me different. Those experiences have left me, me.

Dad was wrong, I do remember that boy's name. We're Facebook friends and I'm glad that we are. We were important in each other's lives at one time and I'm glad that I didn't damage him beyond repair. I was a bit of a bitch. Hard to believe, I know. He taught me the importance of being gracious to those that love you. It took me a long time to understand that lesson but I'm glad I finally got it.

I'm (almost) sorry that I've lost touch with Dana. He gave me an education. Literally. He broadened my world and taught me how to think critically and impartially. He also taught me that some people need to control those in their lives in order to feel complete. Those types of people are not emotionally healthy and need counseling not a spouse.

That brings me to Pat. I can't imagine my life without him. Seriously. Our relationship is about the only subject I can't write about. Every time I start, it seems so trite and stupid. Hearts and hope and gah, stab me in the face, please!

Love you, Pattycakes. From the girl I was when we met to the woman I am now. You're the best man in the world for me and I'm glad you can tolerate my particular brand of bullshit.