Resolutions and Resolve! Or why I don't give a damn that it's a new year...

A new beginning! A clean slate! A time of resolutions and resolve!

I resolve to what? Work harder; be nicer to my husband; not cuss so much (that's a request from Emma since she feels I'm not setting the appropriate example as a mother with all my sailor-talk). As if that's going to happen. All doomed to failure. Really. Seriously.

I know it, even as I think it. You know it, even as you read it. The good intentions of a new year. Well not this year. Not from me. I'm the same today as I was yesterday (maybe better rested since I had a good long nap yesterday). I resolve to do absolutely nothing different this year. I will continue to be a little mean to Pat and swear like crazy. Why? Why not? I'm not going to attain perfection this year. Hell, not even in this lifetime. And, for the first time, I don't really care. Really. Don't. Care.

At this stage of my life I'm too busy for self-improvement and introspection. That's a luxury for people with free-time. I'm not saying that to imply that I have more to do than most. I don't know if I do or not. I only know that I'm up early every day, I work over full-time, I have kids that need attention, a house that likes to be clean every now and then, two cats, and a dog. I have committee work and fund-raising work that I choose to do. I don't have free-time. I have wasted time. There's a difference. If you do not understand the difference you are one of the lucky people that have free-time and can ponder it. Seriously. Email me if you're not sure. I'll get right back to you. Honest.

So this year I am not resolute. I am living. I am not all Auld Lang Syne. I am planning. I am not being nicer to Pat. I am his wife. I am not going to swear less. I am colorful. I'm not giving up wasting time. I am me.

Take me or leave me. I have felt the sting of the universe before and I'll feel it again. It won't be because of me, it will be in spite of me. I have learned how to take a cosmic punch and believe me, I will not be "resolving" to change myself. I like me. I'm sarcastic and funny and kind of mean (what, I didn't say I was perfect).

And to 2011 all I can say is: Take your best shot. Other years -better years- have tried and failed. Bring it on, bitch! Let's see who's standing next January.