Crazy Bitches are Crazy

So, we had some snow. Power is finally restored and the kids are back to school. The roads are still a little dodgy especially in Boston where some multi-lane roads are down to one lane. For the most part, folks are still working under the “We’re all in this together!” banner. That banner, however, is starting to wear a bit thin.

This morning I was driving Emma to school. Normally it takes me about 12-15 minutes. Today it took close to 45. Not getting into too much detail but so y’all can try to understand where we were, I drive down Center Street, through Hyde Square, make a left at Walden Street, right on Health and take Terrace around Mission Hill.  Seems a weird way to get to Fenway but it really is the fastest way in the morning.

Jackson Square is a hot mess. What are normally three lanes of traffic is being squeezed into one and a half, and that’s being generous. This morning traffic was backed up to Sunnyside. Not backed up enough to turn around and try a different way but backed up enough. People were being pretty considerate of lights and not blocking intersections so it was all good.

Well it was until Pedestrian Woman! decided she was going to take a stand for pedestrians everywhere. So, she’s standing on the corner of Walden Street heading toward Hyde Square when she steps out from behind an eleven foot snow bank into the cross walk and then yells at the car in the cross walk since she, Pedestrian Woman!, has the right-of-way.

Lady in the car flips her off and Pedestrian Woman! wasn’t having any of that nonsense. So she starts yelling at the driver. Driver yells back and then this crazy bitch (Pedestrian Woman!) jumps in front of the car and starts taking pictures of the driver and her license plate. Swear to God! Now I’m right behind the car that is being stopped which means that I’m now blocking on-coming traffic. So – of course – I put my car in park, open the door and get out. I tell Pedestrian Woman! to get out of the damned street before something bad happens. She looks at me and says “She told me to call the cops and that’s what I’m going to do!” I look at her and say “Seriously? You need to get out of the street. Now.” I get back in my car since I naturally assume she’ll listen to me.

Did she? No she did not. Instead she doubled-down on her crazy-ass strategy and starts yelling at the driver again and taking more pictures. Yes she did.

Once again, I do the whole secure the car and get back out. “Seriously lady. Get out of the god-damn street. I’m late. Other people are late. And you need to take whatever issue you have and MOVE THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!” By this point about eleven people are out of their cars yelling at Pedestrian Woman! and countless others are beeping and yelling shit out the windows.

The driver in the front car turns to me and says “I didn’t tell her to call the cops, I told her to watch where she was going.” I reply, “Crazy bitches are crazy.” And we both have a laugh.

At this point, the passenger in the first car gets out and is starting to collect witness names and numbers so if the cops get involved she has what she needs to make her case. Pedestrian Woman! starts to argue with her about what’s she doing when passenger goes full-on crazy Spanish lady on her. Shouting and cussing in Spanish, arms waving. If you have never before witnessed a Spanish-lady verbal smack down you have not really lived. I suggest you put it on your bucket list.

Finally, Pedestrian Woman! looks around and you can see realization dawn that she has created a situation that is about to get all kinds of ugly so finally – finally – she does the sensible thing and just walks away.

I get back in the car and Emma looks at me and says, “What was her problem?”

With a straight face I replied, “She had the right-of-way.”