Words Matter

 

Words have a magical power. They can bring either the greatest happiness or deepest despair; they can transfer knowledge from teacher to student; words enable the orator to sway his audience and dictate its decisions. Words are capable of arousing the strongest emotions and prompting all men's actions. ~ SIGMUND FREUD

Just about everyone argues, that’s pretty much a fact. You argue with the spouse, the kids, the parent, the sister, the brother, the… well, you get the picture. It's probably safe to say that everyone has had at least one argument in their lives. 

Pat and I argue all the time. Our first argument was the night we met. That was 20 years ago. Guess what? We’re still arguing. In fact, we’re arguing right now! Hahaha!

I love to argue. Surprising absolutely no one, I’m sure. When I argue I like to win. In order to win, I need facts. Facts, contrary to the belief of some, are your friends. They are necessary to open and healthy discourse. Like sunshine, they keep you healthy and honest.

Let’s set aside, for argument’s sake, the act of arguing and talk about talking. About interacting. About being responsible for what flows from your lips or your finger tips. Facts are not for special occasions. They are not your wedding china. They should be used all the time. For with use, they get stronger. They get healthier. They get factier.

So, what’s my point?

There are several.

The first, are you responsible for what you put out in the world?

My answer: Yes. Yes you are.

Second, do you have a responsibility to make sure that what you put out, makes sense to other earthlings?

My answer: Yes. Yes you do.

There is this picture making the rounds on facebook that is driving me absolutely, talk-to-myself-crazy. What, I hear you asking, can be making me crazy? This:

I'm only responsible for what I say not for what you understand

I read it the first time, it seemed harmless. I see 100 pictures a day on my facebook wall. It showed up again. Then again. The more I was confronted with it, the more it started to annoy me.

Really, you have no responsibility for how your words are perceived? Really?  So I can call someone a stupid, lazy, fat-ass, douchenozzle and it's not my fault if they get mad. I should just tell them that I have no responsibility for their hurt feelings since I'm not responsible for their reaction? Really?

How about taking a moment and remembering that words have actual meaning? Meanings that are established by society. They have a certain weight to them. They can stir passion and incite violence. When you put them out in the world, you own them. All of them. That includes how they are received.

Call someone a hero, and that lifts them up. Call someone an asshole, and that tears them down. You. Own. Both. Results. Know what I see when I read that slogan? I see the Palinization of personal responsibility. Say whatever comes to mind and get defensive and petty when someone calls you on your bullshit. Quite frankly, It’s astounding to me. Breath-taking in it’s duplicity and complete abdication of any sense of decency.

The thoughts and opinions in this blog originated in me. I own the words. I own the thoughts. I own your reaction. Good or bad. Happy or sad. Enraged or indifferent.

That’s the power of words.

Use them wisely.

They matter. 

Even if it is “only” facebook.

Are you one of the 53%?

Are you a 53%er? You know, one of the poor bastards that actually pays FEDERAL income tax. I am! No freeloaders here. Oh, wait! That is not a true statement since Pat was on unemployment for a while. Bad, bad, Pat! Sucking off the government's tit like that! You should be ashamed. What's that you say? You PAID into the unemployment fund. What kind of commie-socialist-fascist nonsense are you spouting? Don't let Rush here you say that; he might bore you to death with all his talking.

Anyway, back to my point...

The 53% campaign is based on the notion that 53% of Americans pay more in federal income taxes than they receive back in deductions or credits, and so 53% of people are subsidizing everyone else. Like much of everything that Mr. Erickson does, this is also misguided and meant to widen the divide in public discourse which, of course, helps drive traffic to his website and get him on the TV machine. Just who are the sons-of-bitches that are shirking their FEDERAL responsibilities?

Well, 22% of them are lower-income seniors on Social Security. Those old bastards. Who do they think they are! That leaves us with 25% of able-bodied, competent folks who still refuse to pay their fair share! Who are these people? Why do we tolerate this nonsense?

Taken together, the earned income tax credit, the child credit, and the childcare credit account for about 15% of the people who pay no federal income tax. I've taken advantage of these credits in the past (I must be a horrible, horrible person).

That leaves about 10% of people who manage to use other deductions and/or loopholes to get under the tax line. Some of them make a decent amount of money.

Perhaps we should stop looking to the bottom and blaming the poor for being poor.

We are systematically destroying the public education system, turning it into nothing more than a testing ground for private companies to get rich off telling us that our kids suck and that they're stupid; that lazy teachers and greedy administrators are the problem; that we need more ridiculous unfunded mandates that benefit no one but the test companies.

We have almost finished reducing the middle-class to nothing more than a footnote. I, for one, am tired of being told that the government is the problem. No it's not. Bad government is the problem. When you continue to elect people that HATE government, you get bad government. What a fucking shock!

Wake up. I'm not suggesting that everyone needs to think like me (I still don't understand why you don't) but let's at least strive to elect people that believe that government has a role and function in this country. People that want to work to make this country better and not by dismantling it. When has that ever worked?

Next time someone tells you that about 47% of people don't pay any taxes, look them in the eye (or the keyboard) and tell them they're full of shit. You can also tell them they're part of the problem.

Most of my figures come from http://dmarron.com/2011/07/27/why-do-half-of-americans-pay-no-federal-income-tax/

Which stem from http://www.taxpolicycenter.org/UploadedPDF/1001547-Why-No-Income-Tax.pdf

Heaven Help Me

I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.  ~ Mae West

Heaven gets a lot of press. As well it should and most of the time, heaven is portrayed as a place of good. Harps and clouds and happy thoughts. But maybe there's just a little bit more to heaven. Something sinister.  That’s right, I said it. Sin.is.ter.

You’ve heard it. Hell (ha), you may have even said it. I know I’ve said it at least once. But I never really stopped to think about the implications of it. Sure, it’s innocent enough, meant to comfort. You know what I mean, about how your loved ones are looking down on you. Making sure, you’re “safe”, watching over you. Whatever that means.

Am I the only person in the world that gets the wiggins from that? Can you imagine toiling on this Earth. Being good. Living a moral life only to get to heaven and have to spend all your time looking back here! Checking up on everyone to make sure they stay out of trouble. I don't know about you, but man I will be one pissed off lady if that’s what my eternity is reduced to.

Can you imagine an eternity of watching the unfolding of boring lives when the entire universe lies at your feet? The people you can meet. Ghandi, Jesus, the grandfather that squandered the family fortune! I know a few people that have been waiting to meet that son-of-a-biscuit-eater. Besides, it's not as if you can affect anything directly. Right? Cause if you can, and my dead relatives haven't, I am going to open up a giant can of whoop-ass when I get up there, especially on Dad! Hear that Jimbo? You are going to be one sorry dude when I get there.

How do I know that I’ll be meeting all these awesome people in heaven? How do I know there not in that other place? Well, I have my thoughts on who belongs there and, well, since this is my blog I’m going to share them with you. Hell, in my estimation, is reserved for the truly evil and heinous. Nicolae Ceaușescu, Ted Bundy, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden. War criminals. You know like Dick Cheney-level evil.

All kidding aside, I do want there to be an afterlife. Honestly, I want there to be more than one. I’d hate to think that this is all we get. This short time. This taste of the extraordinary. This struggle and turmoil. This uncertainty. I know one thing. Heaven better be spectacular. Wild horses, dancing til dawn spectacular. Full-on rave spectacular. Fall in love with your soul mate spectacular.

Hey, Saint Pete! Are you paying attention? I’ll be up there sooner or later and I expect a room with a view. One that faces away from Earth. K. Thanks!

How the hell do they do it?

Click on the picture to make it bigger. This will blow your mind!

Copy and Paste

OK, folks I have a bee in my bonnet this morning and I’m not going to be able to move along until I get this little rant out of my system.

Facebook is awesome. The internet is awesome. It is also forever. By that I mean, once it’s out there, even for a second, there’s a digital record of it somewhere. Screen grabs, caches, ether. Like the stone thrown or the word spoken, it’s irretrievable.

Do me a favor.

Hell, do yourself and your friends a favor. 

Before you copy and paste anything, Google it. Seriously, it takes like 2 seconds. Try to verify it. A little fact-checking never hurt anyone.

The little kid with cancer – fake.

Facebook starting to charge a fee – fake.

Pepsi and the pledge – fake.

There are the posts that read like a fundamentalist wish list; or the one where we make prison conditions worse because private nursing home facilities care more about profit than they do patients. Oh, let’s not forget the one where we should be following the lead of Afghanistan and North Korea to inform our decisions (that one already inspired a rant).

Read, really read, like with critical reading skills and ask yourself a couple of questions. The first being, “Does this even make sense?” Follow-up with, “Do I agree with this statement in it’s entirety?” Maybe you can even ask yourself, “Do I want this to be associated with my name?”

I’ve recommended items that I don’t necessarily agree with but I agree that they need to be seen and debated. I’m not talking about differing opinions or opposing politics. I’m talking about things that are factually incorrect or contain false equivalences or outright lies.

Everything – and I mean everything – you post becomes part of your digital DNA. Once you post it, you have effectively co-signed it. Not a part of it, not the spirit of it.

It.

All of it.

In it’s entirety.

Wretched Refuse

"...Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" ~ Emma Lazarus

I'm appalled at what passes for immigration discussion in this country. Illegal Immigration is a chronic and systemic problem that cannot and will not be solved simply by building a goddamn fence across the border and deporting people we pick up in random traffic stops.

I'm about to share with you a report produced by Oxfam America that, in my opinion, should make each and everyone of us sick. Sick to our collective soul.

It's not a short document but one that should be required reading.  Click here to go to Oxfam America's website. Click on the "A State of Fear" link to read the report.

What Your Personal Trainer Really Thinks

Guest blogger Kat Barrett NSCA-CPT tells us how it really is... 

When people find out what I do, the first thing they always ask me is, "What's the best way to lose weight/gain muscle/make my arms bigger/run faster/lose my belly/perk up my arms, boobs, butt?" This question is shortly followed by, "This is what I'm doing now. Do you think it will work?" What they're really asking for is not my advice. They're asking for "the magic bullet." A secret nugget of information that will gain instant results with minimum work. I'm here to tell you that doesn't exist. That's right, folks. There is no magic bullet. I'm sorry.

No guts? No glory? Yup, pretty much. Results do not happen instantly, and that is the number one reason why workout plans fail. People expect to do one round of the latest fad workout, and wake up with a body like Cindy Crawford or Matthew McConaughey the very next day.  It doesn't work like that. The best "exercise guru" advice that will undoubtedly achieve the results you seek are:

1. Hard work
2. Commitment
3. Discipline
4. Common sense

Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking, "You get paid $100 an hour just to tell me that?!?!?! Are you kidding me?!?!?" Well, no, of course not. I have spent years with my nose buried in exercise science books and sports medicine journals, paired with countless hours in training facilities applying that science to athletes and clients. I get paid for that. But in all seriousness, all of my knowledge and experience will do diddly squat if you don't have those 4 crucial elements when starting an exercise program.

It's actually a very simple concept. Consider it this way. Your child has decided they want to become a classical violinist and would like to play as a soloist at Carnegie Hall some day. Great. Fabulous. You run out and buy the little tyke the best Italian violin your money can buy, and hire the best violin teacher in town for your would-be virtuoso. For the first week, mini-YoYo-Ma can't put the violin down. By week 2, they are looking forward to their lesson but they aren't playing 8 hours a day anymore because by the end of last week's squeak-fest, their fingers became blistered and bloody. Week 3 rolls around and you begin to notice the Xbox is receiving more playing time than the violin. By the time you hit week 4, you have to duct tape the violin to the kid's hand to get him/her to touch, let alone PRACTICE the instrument. After some stomping, some tears, and a few whines, your child tells you, "This is a lot of work and it's too hard and it's no fun and I'm not any good! I QUIT!" An awkward phone call is made to the violin teacher, and the dream of Carnegie Hall is placed in the attic to be sold at a later date on Ebay.

Okay, that was a slight dramatization, but I can pretty much compare this to 80% of the people I've ever met that have joined a gym and/or hired a trainer, and failed to meet their goals.

So here is my honest advice on these 4 points for anyone looking to start working out and reach a set of goals.

1. Hard Work - Face it and stop lying to yourself. Exercise can really suck. You sweat. You breathe hard. You ache afterwards. The old school of thought is that if none of those things are happening, you're not doing it right. Unfortunately, that's true, but it's really not as sado/masochistic as it sounds! You need to stimulate your body beyond its current state of comfort and ability to yield a result. Hey, I don't make the rules of exercise science. I just reinforce them.

2. Commitment - "No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try." ―Yoda. Sage advice from a Jim Henson Muppet. Most people say they will try to workout X number of times a week, but there's always an excuse as to why it doesn't happen. The dog had a stomach ache. Your favorite NCIS repeat was on. Whatever. Listen to Yoda! Don't try to workout. Workout!

3. Discipline - This could also fall under the realm of commitment, but I'm speaking in terms of other lifestyle choices here. If you make the commitment to start working out to change your body and your health, you must adapt the rest of your lifestyle, as well. Lifestyle choices greatly impact exercise results. Dietary habits, alcohol consumption, and lack of sleep are the main culprits in this area. Power walking for 30 minutes does not give you permission to eat a double stack cheeseburger with french fries, drink a case of beer, and stay up all night. You know what you should be doing. It's just a matter of making the smarter choice for yourself. Which leads me into the last point.

4. Common Sense - Again, it's a simple concept of choosing cheesy french fries or a baked potato and salsa. It also is as simple as, "If it hurts, don't do it." I'm not talking about feeling the burn from muscle fatigue. I'm talking about real, genuine pain from a sprained ankle. And lastly, don't over do it! Trainers love when we get new clients that come to us with fresh enthusiasm and drive, but we don't love it when that drive sends them to excessively workout in the first week to the point where they are 1) too sore to blow their noses and 2) so miserable from being sore, they never want to workout again. Ease into it! Working out for a physical goal is a journey that takes time. I can't stress enough, it doesn't happen overnight!

So there you have it. The secrets to washboard abs, bikini-ready buns, and bulging biceps are NOT found in top secret exercise moves. The secret to running a faster mile or losing that extra 5 pounds is not found in the brand or color of shoes on your feet. Train your brain! What you really need to get yourself where you want to be is found in between your ears.

Kat and her fabulous advice can be found on facebook at: Kat Barrett Fitness